Mon 26 Oct 2009
Is Life Getting in the Way of Your Life?
Posted by Tyler under Making Choices, Personal Development
[9] Comments
You know that feeling you get when you suddenly realize how many things you have to get done in the next two hours and see that it’s simply not possible to finish them all. For me, it’s that sudden panic as the overwhelm sets in. You know what I’m talking about? That feeling usually lasts a few minutes until you realize that there’s no choice but to eliminate a few things you thought were important if you’re going to even come close to making it.
So what do you do when you feel like the things you have to eliminate to make it are the things you care about the most? I’ve felt that way recently.
It’s been slow at work lately and I’ve been making the best of it by trying to focus my efforts on developing Frugally Green so that I can easily manage it when things eventually pick up again. But, a few weeks ago, several potential projects all came up at once, and without notice, I was really busy again trying to win more work. For better or worse, it has settled down and I’ve found myself thinking about some potentially serious disconnects between what I’m doing and what I say my goals are.
When goals and life don’t align
During this busy spell, I noticed that I quickly gave up my goal to eat less meat. When I only had a few minutes to figure out what to stuff in my mouth before getting back to business, it was too hard, or at least I justified that it was, to spend the extra time trying to find a vegetarian meal that would satisfy. One weekend I had to work on Sunday, my laundry day, and I simply couldn’t spare the few minutes needed to air dry my clothes, so I put them in the dryer.
If you’ve been reading Frugally Green for awhile, you know that I go on and on about how spending a little time or money up front to do what’s right can really pay off down the line, but now I’ve seen first hand how hard it can be to find those few minutes when your “time bank” is already in debt.
I imagine this must be similar to what it feels like not being able to pay all your bills. You know that socking away a few dollars every month for retirement is really important, but when a creditor is calling every other day to harass you about a past due account, the sense of urgency that comes with that probably overtakes your mind.
I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been fortunate enough to possess the skills of healthy money management, but what I haven’t mentioned is that I’ve never had much success managing my time. It’s not something I’m proud of and I was afraid that talking about it could damage my credibility here. Maybe you’d think I was a hack if I told you about my weaknesses and how I struggle with them? Maybe you’d quit reading?
Then I realized that it doesn’t matter. I have to be honest. If I’m experiencing this, then I’m probably not the only one. Maybe I can even help a few people in the same situation by addressing it. If anyone did quit reading because of this, then we probably weren’t a good fit for each other anyway, which is perfectly fine.
Recognizing the cause to identify solutions
While I’ve written before about focusing on your strengths and forgetting about your weaknesses, it’s important to note that even though you’re probably never going to turn a weakness into a strength, it’s necessary to bring truly limiting ones up to an acceptable level so that they aren’t actively hindering any of your talents. That’s what I aim to do now that I’ve realized that my ability to manage time is keeping me from growing the parts of me that I find really important.
After taking a good look at how I approach my goals, I’ve identified three major points of focus for myself to improve my time management in order to allow me to better pursue them. When you take a good, hard look at yourself, you might find other things that you need to focus on. Hopefully this will get you started and on the right track.
Pursuing goals simultaneously
Pursuing multiple goals at the same time is the most important thing I can do to make sure I’m fulfilling all of my personal needs. This can be tricky, though, especially when you have two or more goals that might feel like they’re competing interests.
In my case, I want to do a great job at work because it brings me a sense of fulfillment, but I also want to pursue my personal environmental goals that give me a sense of contribution.
Right now it feels like a game of tug-o-war, but it doesn’t have to. In order to meld these goals, I’m going to start analyzing and simplifying the steps necessary to complete my most important green goals to make them more portable and adaptable. Reducing my meat consumption is difficult when I don’t have the time to wander the grocery store for ideas or find a restaurant that cares that I’m not a carnivore that day.
So, I will begin to assemble a weekly shopping list with adaptable vegetarian items that I can work into many different meals and start bringing them to work. This will serve the double benefit of providing a routine that I can follow but is not so structured that I quickly become bored with it.
What goals do you have that, with a little creativity, could be combined?
Managing many tasks
This feels like it should be the simplest area to improve, but it has evaded me for so long. Every day we are presented with more options for things to do and tasks to complete than we are capable of handling.
For most of us, these tasks get subconsciously organized and completed based on the habits and biases that we’ve developed throughout our lives. When we decide to change one of those habits or biases, it becomes necessary to think a little bit harder about how we are going to approach the things we decide to do each day.
For instance, I’ve decided that the absolute most important thing I can do to achieve my environmental and financial goals is to consistently write really great articles for Frugally Green. Well, before I decided that, my default approach to using my free time was reading blogs, cleaning the house, and doing other random tasks that I thought were necessary to leading a successful life.
Where was Frugally Green going to fit? To an extent, I am still trying to answer that question.
One major revelation I’ve had, though, came from a fellow named Randy Pausch through his “Last Lecture” about time management. It’s over an hour long, but it’s worth watching. If you don’t have the time, let me paraphrase one major point that he makes.
If there’s something that you’re supposed to do, and you can’t concretely see how it’s going to help you achieve your goal, ask yourself these three questions:
- If I don’t do it, will I get arrested?
- If I don’t do it, will I get fired?
- If I don’t do it, will my family leave me?
If you can answer no to those three questions, then it’s not actually important and you don’t have time to waste on it. As it turns out, reading blogs, cleaning the house, and doing random tasks were all things I didn’t have time to waste on. If, after reading this, you realize that you don’t have time to read Frugally Green and fulfill your dreams, that is a reality that I am willing to live with. I’d rather you were out getting the most out of life.
Hint: There is a huge difference between urgent and important. One does not imply the other. Don’t let an urgent task trick you into thinking that it’s important just because it’s staring you in the face.
Get serious and relax
Finally, I’ve realized that if my main focus is always on being productive and trying to churn out more “stuff” in less time, it doesn’t take me long to get tired and burned out. Always focus on quality over quantity. Becoming a better steward of my money and the environment is hard work that should be taken seriously, but never at the cost of my quality of life.
Knowing when to take a break and relax is one of the most important things I’ve learned I can do for myself. It provides me the peace of mind and focus needed to be even more productive when I get back to it. The best way to know if you need a break is to simply ask yourself if you’re having fun. If you’re not, it might be time to take a few minutes to relax and replenish the other parts of your life.
Tip: If you were never having fun in the first place, well, you may need to re-evaluate your goals altogether.
Don’t take life too seriously; you’ll never make it out alive.
How do you manage your time? How do you make sure you’re focused on what’s important? When do you know it’s time to take a break or switch gears?
~~~~~
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Hourglass Image by John-Morgan.
Related posts:
- Quit Worrying About 80% of Your Life
- 5 Things You Don’t Need to Go Green
- What Green Changes Can You Make in a Year?
- A Frugally Green Annual Review
- Prioritize Your Sustainable Pursuits
9 Responses to “ Is Life Getting in the Way of Your Life? ”
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[...] Tervooren presents Is Life Getting in the Way of Your Life? saying, “Lately I’ve been deep in debt, but not with money – with time. Funny [...]
As a blog writer, reader and luvah, I have to say that I really prefer to read blogs where folks admit their fallibility. Isn’t that where the most beautiful exchanges occur? Not with some teacher/student dynamic, where one is superior, but two folks stumbling along, sharing their beautifully flawed humanity. So! I’m glad to see this!
I am also entertained when I have a rush of subscriptions and/or cancellations based on something I wrote. (I dunno, maybe that doesn’t happen to you!) It’s impossible to please everyone and pointless to try.
I’m horrible at time management. I’m focusing on being effective instead of efficient, because I am amazingly talented at being efficient doing pointless crap.
I love your idea of combining goals. I’m also trying to eat less meat in addition to eating out less and taking public transportation more. They go hand in hand for me, as it’s much harder for me to go out to eat for lunch if I don’t have my car. So, I’ve been prepping massive quantities of veg-friendly foods for work and taking the train.
Glad to hear I’m not alone in that thinking, Aldra. Being effective at the right things is much more important than being efficient at the wrong ones. Keep us posted on your progress.
So far, all my subscriptions have built slowly but steadily. I wouldn’t mind a rush of subscribers though!
I loved your post, but I have to respectfully disagree with what you said about being unable to turn weaknesses into strengths. It might take a while, but its in our flaws that I think we can find the greatest potential.
I couldn’t manage my time if I had all of eternity, and I waste it with impossible dreams, but sometimes its when I’m woefully lost in space that I come up with the best ideas.
After all, it was a flaw (lack of time management skills) that resulted in your idea for this post! If we didn’t have to work at anything, the world would be a very boring place. Aldra, you hit the nail on the head, I’d much rather read posts from someone who admits that they aren’t perfect than someone who puts themselves up on a pedestal.
Hey Kate,
Thanks for the really thoughtful comment. I suppose, in a way, I have to agree with you. Weaknesses can certainly serve as great motivation and inspiration to change. I still suck at time management, and this post almost never was, but I pushed through it and hit submit because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. Thanks for stopping by!
And let’s not forget, weaknesses are what make us entertaining! Or, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
(p.s. Kate’s blog is awesome! Frugal homeownership? Brilliant. I <3 the internets so!)
If our weaknesses make us entertaining, I ought to have traveling show.
I try to focus on changing the big things and the routine rather than every single little thing in my life. That way I really only have to think about it once, and the results continue. For instance, not eating meat got a lot easier once I had a few favorite meals that I could turn to even when I didn’t feel like thinking.
I’m also trying to be more forgiving of my failings, so I don’t completely derail my good intentions.
Brenda, being able to forgive yourself when you fail is incredibly important. Dwelling on it only creates more negativity that can really put the damper on a great plan.