Here are 8 steps you can take to make sure you avoid the hassle of living an environmentally and financially conscious lifestyle.  You won’t make the world a better place, you probably won’t save any money, and you certainly won’t grow as a conscious individual, but everyone around you living similarly mediocre and unconscious lives will likely be very impressed.

Always buy cheap

Never mind that each piece came from a different corner of the world, was produced in a highly toxic facility and that you’ll have to buy another one when it breaks in a month because it was so poorly constructed by underpaid third-world slaves in a sweatshop at 3 AM on Christmas.  Your friends will be impressed that you’re so thrifty.  You always find the best deals!

Always buy “green”

This option is easy to spot because they made the box twice as big to fit all the reasons why it saves the world on it.  Rather than figure out how to improve the product, they hired a new marketing team to “accentuate” all the “green” details that weren’t so important before.  Don’t even look at the price or comparison shop, just eat it up because the best way to lead a sustainable life is to surround yourself with things that tell everyone else that you care.

Talk a big game

The more you know about the green culture, the more you can tell other people about it.  Keep up appearances by trading tricks and tips with all your friends.  Don’t bother actually implementing them.  That takes time and effort.  Besides, the more people you tell about all the great stuff you know, the less you actually have to do.  As long as they’re all doing it, it won’t make much difference if you do. But, what if they’re all like you?

Ridicule your friends

Don’t give up.  They’re only one more insulting comment away from seeing everything your way!  The only way to influence people to live like you do is to shove your lifestyle down their throats.  Get in arguments.  Shout louder when they offer different perspectives.  They won’t get it until you’ve uncovered every last undesirable characteristic they possess.  Careful with this tip, though. They won’t have to dig too deep to retaliate.

Produce more energy, don’t conserve it

The more renewable energy you create, the less you need to worry about conserving it.  If you’ve got the money, buy a few more to power the sauna and the 72” plasma TV in your theater room.  There’s no need to reduce consumption when the electricity you generate makes you feel so good about yourself.  If you don’t read your electricity bill, you won’t even notice that it hasn’t changed.  This is another friend impresser.  Throw parties once a year to show off the windmill in your back yard.  Make sure there’s a great view of it from the hot tub.

Donate but never volunteer

It’s long been known that the more money you throw at a problem, the easier and faster it is to fix.  Take this to heart and send a few dollars out to worthy foundations here or there, but only if you get your name on a plaque or something.  Remember, though, don’t ever give them any identifying information you don’t have to.  Someday they might actually ask if you’d like to help and you don’t have time for that.  Besides, what do they need your time for when they have your money?  Plenty of others are sure to help, right?  Showing up might open you up to other changes you need to make in your life.  You’re busy and don’t have time for this either.

Never challenge yourself to do more

Find a nice comfortable spot and stay there.  This is the easiest way to get through life.  And life is tough, so don’t add to it!  Besides, you already do more than most people.  Isn’t that good enough?  When someone presents a great idea to you that sounds like work, politely brush it off while highlighting the other things you do.  This is the best way to diffuse the request, as most people are very understanding.  They won’t question your decision.

Don’t take risks

If you never take a risk, nothing will ever go wrong.  You can feel good about yourself knowing that you’ve successfully navigated your way through life without ever causing a commotion.  All those world changing ideas you have?  They can’t be that original.  Someone else will probably do them so don’t worry about it.  Besides, what if you did give them a shot and they didn’t work out quite like you’d planned?  People might think you’re a failure.  Best to just fly under the radar.

The final word

There are plenty more ways to lead an average life, and quite honestly, there’s nothing wrong with average.  But if you’ve found yourself here, then I’m going to guess that you’re probably someone that is looking for more.  Looking back, I wrote this piece quite sarcastically.  It might offend some, but I’m hoping it will inspire more.

There are no two ways around it.  Living a meaningful and conscious life is hard work.  Most people will opt for the easier route as their lives are hard enough as is, but if you’ve read this far, I believe you probably are, or at least have an urge to be one of the few that opts to break free from the sea of mediocrity.  Congratulations. You have a long, often frustrating road ahead of you,  but you know it’s worth it.  Anyone can do it, most wont.  Which one are you?

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So why the contempt for such a seemingly insignificant product? People need water, right? And the best tasting water comes from a bottle, no?  Let me start off with…

A brief history of plumbing

Somewhere around 3,000 years ago, the people of the Near East (now more popularly categorized into the larger category of the Middle East) realized that trading goods would get them farther in life than forever hanging out next to the rivers that sustained them.  Though, in order to trade their wares, they had to move away from these oases…but they still needed their water.  After what was probably a lot of head scratching and beard stroking, they devised a plan to dig a ditch, later known as an aqueduct, that would carry the water to a more prominent trading location.  Several hundred years later, the Romans, flexing their mental (and just as often physical) muscles, took this concept to a whole new level, conquering lands far and wide across Europe, The Middle East, and Northern Africa and carrying water across hundreds of miles of plains and valleys  with aqueducts built of stone and, later, concrete in order to support the growth of their empire and sustain the trading hubs that kept them growing. Life was good, and getting better. However, there was one big, ugly problem. As cities grew and grew, water-borne illness began to claim more and more lives. Unfortunately, this was not fully understood until more than 2,000 years later when Louis Pasteur and a handful of other scientists brought widespread acceptance to Germ Theory.  Less than 100 years later, there wasn’t a developed nation in the world that didn’t protect their municipal water and even begin using it  to convey human waste away from buildings where further treatment would render it harmless.  Throw in a bit of invention here, a touch of innovation there and…Voila! Modern plumbing and water sanitation.

As you can see, billions of lives were sacrificed and thousands of years of thought were spent creating a system that allows you to walk into your kitchen and drink a glass of water while being more than reasonably sure that you will not die or even become sick.  Drinking bottled water is like slapping each and every one of those people in the face. Sure, that’s complete hyperbole, but you get my point.

The cost of bottled water to you

As much contempt as I have for the bottled water industry, I am also amazed by their ability to get people to pay for something that they can obtain more conveniently for virtually free. That is, as far as I can tell, utter brilliance used for evil rather than good. Do you think you should pay more for water than you do for gasoline? Here’s an exerpt from an article that puts it in perspective:

Take, for instance, Pepsi’s Aquafina or Coca-Cola’s Dasani bottled water. Both are sold in 20 ounce sizes and can be purchased from vending machines alongside soft drinks — and at the same price. Assuming you can find a $1 machine, that works out to 5 cents an ounce. These two brands are essentially filtered tap water, bottled close to their distribution point. Most municipal water costs less than one cent per gallon.

Now consider another widely-sold liquid: gasoline. It has to be pumped out of the ground in the form of crude oil, shipped to a refinery (often halfway across the world), and shipped again to your local filling station.

In the U.S., the average price per gallon is hovering around $3. There are 128 ounces in a gallon, which puts the current price of gasoline at fraction over 2 cents an ounce. (Editor’s note: The station down the street from me is currently advertising regular unleaded at $2.37 per gallon, putting it at a fraction under 2 cents an ounce)

And that’s why there’s no shortage of companies which want to get into the business. In terms of price versus production cost, bottled water puts Big Oil to shame. (Full article here)

Environmental and Social Impact

Of course, this post wouldn’t be complete without an overview of the impacts that the bottled water industry has on our environment and society at large.  The production of it, the bottles that contain it, the thousands of miles it has to be transported to get to your store, the distance you have to travel to purchase it – every step of the process requires precious energy to support the system.  Compare that to the single plant that treats your municipal water and the few pumps that conveniently deliver it directly to your home and the energy disparity becomes pretty obvious. Also, take into consideration that when you finish that bottle of water, it has to go somewhere.  Hopefully, if you’re reading this blog, it at least makes it into your recycling container.  While certainly the best option and kudos to you for making the effort to recycle, even recycling comes at an energy cost that can’t compare to the energy saved by simply drinking from you tap. One more issue that should not be taken lightly is the fact that the rise in popularity of bottled water detracts from the improvement of our municipal water systems.  While I’m far from a Doom’s Day theorist and water is safer than it ever has been, attention to the continued safety of our public water is just as important as it has ever been.  If a worst case scenario were to occur and public drinking water were to become unsafe to drink, you can be sure that most of us would no longer be able to afford its bottled counterpart.  The protection of our public water is important to your health, no matter how little of it you currently drink.

But my tap water tastes awful!

I can hear you right now saying to yourself, “Ok, I get it. Bottled water is exorbitantly expensive and you think I’m irresponsible for drinking it, but my tap water tastes horrible and I can’t stand it.”  Well, hold on there. You’re putting words in my mouth. I didn’t say you’re irresponsible and I don’t think it, either.  Taste is a valid concern.  I know because half the time I take a plain salad to work for lunch, I end up staring at it for five minutes before putting it back in the refrigerator and going to a restaurant down the street.  Luckily for us water snobs, there are a number of companies that have gone to a lot of work to develop products that will make it taste a lot better to be frugally green (see what I did there?). Brita and Pur are practically household names these days, but there are other companies, as well, offering competitive products worth looking into.  Check out these websites to find reviews, tips, and side-by-side comparisons to help you choose the best filtration system for you:

• consumersearch.com/water-filters
• waterfiltercomparisons.com
• waterfilterreviews.net

There are plenty of options out there to fit nearly every need from basic pitchers to faucet mounted devices to full household systems at any price range, including frugal, like you and me! Personally, my household doesn’t require a lot of filtered drinking water, so I use the standard, old Brita pitcher unit that I keep in the fridge. The sticker on the side says that I should change the filter every 2 months, but we’re going on about 6 months (maybe more, who’s counting?), and the water still tastes great.  Since I’m not currently concerned with all the possibly “terrible things” that could be in my drinking water, I will keep using this filter until the water running through it gives me bitter-beer-face (remember those old Keystone Light commercials from the 90s?).  For water on the go, consider picking up a couple of aluminum  bottles like these.  I still use those plastic Nalgene bottles.  But, once the media finally convinces me that they’ll give me cancer, I’ll probably switch to aluminum (This concern exists for disposable plastic water bottles as well, so just one more reason to stop buying them).

Considering all options, ditching the bottled water for a filtration system is a pretty darn cheap and easy way to save money, help the environment, and give your fellow man a hand.  Who knew it could be so simple? I know, of course you did.  You’re so smart!

Do you use any sort of water filtration system?  Do you recommend one? Maybe you’re tougher than the rest of us and just drink from the tap? Can you think of any time a bottle of water from the vending machine is a better option than the alternative (like visiting a 3rd world or developing nation)?

Editor’s note: I would like to make it clear that I do not promote or endorse any of the products in this article.  All links are for imformational purposes only. When I decide to promote a specific product that I feel strongly about, I will make it very clear that I am doing so!

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