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	<title>Frugally Green &#187; personal growth</title>
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	<description>Saving Earth one dollar at a time</description>
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		<title>How to Pretend to be Frugally Green</title>
		<link>http://frugallygreen.org/how-to-pretend-to-be-frugally-green/</link>
		<comments>http://frugallygreen.org/how-to-pretend-to-be-frugally-green/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 05 Sep 2009 12:00:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tyler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Doing the Right Thing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Making Choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://frugallygreen.org/?p=666</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Protecting the earth isn&#8217;t always easy.  Neither is saving money.  In fact, sometimes it can be downright hard work.  Becoming... <a href="http://frugallygreen.org/how-to-pretend-to-be-frugally-green/">Continue reading &#187;</a>
Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/3-steps-to-a-frugally-green-spring-clean/' rel='bookmark' title='3 Steps to a Frugally Green Spring Clean'>3 Steps to a Frugally Green Spring Clean</a></li>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/a-frugally-green-annual-review/' rel='bookmark' title='A Frugally Green Annual Review'>A Frugally Green Annual Review</a></li>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/welcome-to-frugally-green/' rel='bookmark' title='Welcome to Frugally Green'>Welcome to Frugally Green</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/thost/170369652/"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-667" style="border: 1px solid black;margin-right: 10px;" title="mediocrity-is-a-sin" src="http://frugallygreen.org.s144503.gridserver.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/mediocrity-is-a-sin-244x300.jpg" alt="mediocrity-is-a-sin" width="205" height="253" /></a>Protecting the earth isn&#8217;t always easy.  Neither is saving money.  In fact, sometimes it can be downright hard work.  Becoming frugally green requires a shift in lifestyle design that a lot of people just aren&#8217;t comfortable with.  <strong>Living consciously is an important virtue</strong>, but it isn’t easy. So what can you do if you&#8217;re just not up to the challenge?</p>
<p>Here are 8 steps you can take to make sure you avoid the hassle of living an environmentally and financially conscious lifestyle.  You won&#8217;t make the world a better place, you probably won&#8217;t save any money, and you certainly won&#8217;t grow as a conscious individual, but everyone around you living similarly mediocre and unconscious lives will likely be very impressed.</p>
<h2>Always buy cheap</h2>
<p>Never mind that each piece came from a different corner of the world, was produced in a highly toxic facility and that you&#8217;ll have to buy another one when it breaks in a month because it was so poorly constructed by underpaid third-world slaves in a sweatshop at 3 AM on Christmas.  Your friends will be impressed that you&#8217;re so thrifty.  You always find the best deals!</p>
<h2>Always buy &#8220;green&#8221;</h2>
<p>This option is easy to spot because <strong>they made the box twice as big</strong> to fit all the reasons why it saves the world on it.  Rather than figure out how to improve the product, they hired a new marketing team to &#8220;accentuate&#8221; all the &#8220;green&#8221; details that weren&#8217;t so important before.  Don&#8217;t even look at the price or comparison shop, just eat it up because the best way to lead a sustainable life is to surround yourself with <em>things</em> that tell everyone else that you <em>care</em>.</p>
<h2>Talk a big game</h2>
<p>The more you know about the green culture, the more you can tell other people about it.  Keep up appearances by trading tricks and tips with all your friends.  Don&#8217;t bother actually implementing them.  That takes time and effort.  Besides, the more people you tell about all the great stuff you know, the less you actually have to do.  As long as they&#8217;re all doing it, it won&#8217;t make much difference if you do. But, what if they&#8217;re all like you?</p>
<h2>Ridicule your friends</h2>
<p>Don&#8217;t give up.  They&#8217;re only <a href="../../../../../2009/08/05/be-green-not-elitist/">one more insulting comment</a> away from seeing everything your way!  The only way to influence people to live like you do is to shove your lifestyle down their throats.  Get in arguments.  Shout louder when they offer different perspectives.  They won&#8217;t <em>get it</em> until you&#8217;ve uncovered every last undesirable characteristic they possess.  Careful with this tip, though. They won&#8217;t have to dig too deep to retaliate.</p>
<h2>Produce more energy, don&#8217;t conserve it</h2>
<p>The more renewable energy you create, the less you need to worry about conserving it.  If you&#8217;ve got the money, buy a few more to power the sauna and the 72” plasma TV in your theater room.  There&#8217;s no need to <strong>reduce consumption</strong> when the electricity you generate makes you feel so good about yourself.  If you don&#8217;t read your electricity bill, you won&#8217;t even notice that it hasn&#8217;t changed.  This is another friend impresser.  Throw parties once a year to show off the windmill in your back yard.  Make sure there’s a great view of it from the hot tub.</p>
<h2>Donate but never volunteer</h2>
<p>It&#8217;s long been known that the more money you throw at a problem, the easier and faster it is to fix.  Take this to heart and send a few dollars out to worthy foundations here or there<em>, </em>but only if you get your name on a plaque or something.  Remember, though, don&#8217;t ever give them any identifying information you don&#8217;t have to.  Someday <strong>they might actually ask if you&#8217;d like to help</strong> and you don&#8217;t have time for that.  Besides, what do they need your time for when they have your money?  Plenty of others are sure to help, right?  <strong>Showing up might open you up to other changes you need to make</strong> in your life.  You&#8217;re busy and don&#8217;t have time for this either.</p>
<h2>Never challenge yourself to do more</h2>
<p>Find a nice comfortable spot and stay there.  This is the easiest way to get through life.  And life is tough, so don&#8217;t add to it!  Besides, you already do more than most people.  Isn&#8217;t that good enough?  When someone presents a great idea to you that sounds like <em>work</em>, politely brush it off while highlighting the other things you do.  This is the best way to diffuse the request, as most people are very understanding.  They won&#8217;t question your decision.</p>
<h2>Don&#8217;t take risks</h2>
<p>If you never take a risk, nothing will <em>ever </em>go wrong.  You can feel good about yourself knowing that you&#8217;ve successfully navigated your way through life without ever causing a commotion.  All those world changing ideas you have?  They can&#8217;t be that original.  Someone else will probably do them so <strong>don&#8217;t worry about it</strong>.  Besides, what if you did give them a shot and they didn&#8217;t work out quite like you&#8217;d planned?  People might think you&#8217;re a failure.  Best to just fly under the radar.</p>
<h2>The final word</h2>
<p>There are plenty more ways to lead an average life, and quite honestly, there&#8217;s nothing wrong with average.  But if you&#8217;ve found yourself here, then I&#8217;m going to guess that you&#8217;re probably someone that is looking for more.  Looking back, I wrote this piece quite sarcastically.  It might offend some, but I&#8217;m hoping it will inspire more.</p>
<p>There are no two ways around it.  Living a meaningful and conscious life is hard work.  Most people will opt for the easier route as their lives are hard enough as is, but if you&#8217;ve read this far, I believe you probably are, or at least have an urge to be one of the few that opts to break free from the sea of mediocrity.  Congratulations. You have a long, often frustrating road ahead of you,  but you know it&#8217;s worth it.  Anyone can do it, most wont.  Which one are you?</p>
<p><em>~~~~~~</em></p>
<p><em>If you enjoyed this post,  please share it with your friends, leave a comment, or consider subscribing to the <a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/frugallygreen" target="_self">RSS Feed</a>.</em></p>
<p>Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/3-steps-to-a-frugally-green-spring-clean/' rel='bookmark' title='3 Steps to a Frugally Green Spring Clean'>3 Steps to a Frugally Green Spring Clean</a></li>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/a-frugally-green-annual-review/' rel='bookmark' title='A Frugally Green Annual Review'>A Frugally Green Annual Review</a></li>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/welcome-to-frugally-green/' rel='bookmark' title='Welcome to Frugally Green'>Welcome to Frugally Green</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Be Green, not Elitist</title>
		<link>http://frugallygreen.org/be-green-not-elitist/</link>
		<comments>http://frugallygreen.org/be-green-not-elitist/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 Aug 2009 12:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tyler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life lessons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://frugallygreen.org/?p=342</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever gotten in an argument with a friend because they don&#8217;t recycle?  I have.  What about made fun... <a href="http://frugallygreen.org/be-green-not-elitist/">Continue reading &#187;</a>
Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/how-to-pretend-to-be-frugally-green/' rel='bookmark' title='How to Pretend to be Frugally Green'>How to Pretend to be Frugally Green</a></li>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/are-you-more-frugal-or-green-balancing-multiple-goals/' rel='bookmark' title='Are You More Frugal or Green?: Balancing Multiple Goals'>Are You More Frugal or Green?: Balancing Multiple Goals</a></li>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/get-the-most-out-of-your-green-or-any-other-degree/' rel='bookmark' title='Get the Most out of Your Green (or any other) Degree'>Get the Most out of Your Green (or any other) Degree</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/9619972@N08/2786498571/" target="_blank"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-461" style="border: 1px solid black; margin-right: 10px;" title="tree-hugger" src="http://frugallygreen.org.s144503.gridserver.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/tree-hugger-300x199.jpg" alt="tree-hugger" width="302" height="206" /></a>Have you ever gotten in an argument with a friend because they don&#8217;t recycle?  I have.  What about made fun of someone for being <em>so materialistic </em>and never saving their money?  Yep, I&#8217;ve done that too.  All of these arguments and shallow remarks resulted from an attempt to get someone to change &#8211; to see the light (<strong>my light!</strong>) and commit to a more sustainable life.  Guess how many times it&#8217;s worked?  Yep&#8230;none.  How many times has it worked for you?</p>
<p>When we feel passionately about something, it&#8217;s natural to want others to be just as excited as we are.  We want everyone to know how great it feels to save money and do something positive for the environment.  However, as we all learn growing up, the world does not revolve around us and not everybody shares our passions in the same way we do.  Sometimes this angers us.  Sometimes it can lead to the kind of arguments mentioned above.  Almost every time, it seems to lead to a strained relationship and a missed opportunity.</p>
<p>One major lesson I&#8217;ve learned over the years is that when it comes to building relationships and being influential, it&#8217;s all about &#8220;them,&#8221; not &#8220;you.&#8221;  You must give to get.  There is no way around it.  When you give people what they want and, more importantly, what they need, you get back without ever having to ask.  So, if you&#8217;re trying to convince your friend, partner, or family member to adopt some of your frugally green characteristics, what can you do to give them the things they need in order to make such a change?  After some reflection, I&#8217;ve identified 3 major tactics that you can use in any situation to amicably foster a change in someone.</p>
<p><strong>&#8220;Seek first to understand, then to be understood.&#8221;</strong></p>
<p>When we argue unrelentingly, what are we really trying to accomplish?  I know that most of the time when I&#8217;m arguing, I don&#8217;t really expect the person on the other side to concede defeat, but I usually want them to express that they understand my position.  If they don&#8217;t admit that they understand where I&#8217;m coming from, I feel like I&#8217;ve failed in explaining my position.  But, in order to get someone to understand where you&#8217;re coming from &#8211; to effectively communicate your position &#8211; you must know how someone is willing to receive it.  This is something that can quickly be learned by listening (<strong>really listening</strong>) to how that person feels about your position.</p>
<p>But it&#8217;s not just listening to words, it&#8217;s listening to how their spoken.  It&#8217;s watching their body language for clues about how they feel. It&#8217;s all of these things and it&#8217;s all at once.  By really paying attention to someone when they&#8217;re talking (<em>and</em> when they&#8217;re listening), you can quickly pick up how they&#8217;re reacting and  tailor your communication in a way that they are comfortable with.  I have a friend who doesn&#8217;t recycle.  I can&#8217;t tell you how many times I&#8217;ve ribbed him about it only to end up in a little argument that didn&#8217;t go anywhere.  I later found out that he actually wanted to recycle, but he was scared to start because he&#8217;d never learned how. Turns out we were continuously arguing about the wrong thing!</p>
<p><strong>Help remove passive barriers</strong></p>
<p>So let&#8217;s say you employed all of your stellar listening skills and were able to find some common ground. Your work is not done!  In the the example above, my friend wanted to change, but he didn&#8217;t know how.  I think everyone experiences a time in their life when they desire to change <em>something</em> about themselves, but fail to do so, at least at first, due to some perceived barrier.  Most commonly, this is knowledge.  Looking at my situation, my buddy wanted to recycle, but he never learned how.  He actually feared recycling because he&#8217;d heard that when something non-recyclable accidentally gets mixed in, the whole batch gets thrown away.  He was afraid that if he just started, he would do more harm than good and he didn&#8217;t know where to learn.  He&#8217;d also remembered hearing people complain about how complicated it was years ago to sort everything properly.  Luckily, he had a <em>friend</em> that was more than capable of getting him up and running with his own, simple, recycling plan.  Once he realized how easy it was, his attitude towards it changed completely.  If I had just written him off as lazy or uncaring, I&#8217;d still be arguing (or no longer speaking!) with him. And to think, this could have been resolved ages ago if I had just paid a little more attention.</p>
<p>So often we don&#8217;t change something we know we need to because of a trivial barrier that we set up for ourselves.  &#8220;I would buy compact florescent bulbs, but they&#8217;re so expensive!&#8221;  &#8220;<a title="Dump Your Dryer and Rack Up the Savings" href="http://frugallygreen.org.s144503.gridserver.com/2009/07/22/dump-your-dryer-and-rack-up-the-savings/" target="_self">Air drying my laundry makes my socks crunchy!</a> I hate crunchy socks!&#8221; There are so many easy ways to work around these inconveniences.  By focusing on the problem rather than the solution, we allow ourselves to continue to ignore what we know is the right thing to do.  Any chance you get to genuinely help someone work through barriers like these is just as much an opportunity for us as it is them.</p>
<p><strong>Empower, don&#8217;t belittle</strong></p>
<p><strong>When you resort to personal attacks, there is only one outcome that can be confidently predicted: absolutely nothing will change.</strong> This is the fastest way to make sure that nobody benefits from any dialogue. What is your natural reaction to being insulted?  If you&#8217;re like most, it&#8217;s either to flare up and respond in kind, taking offense to every word, or to clam up, refusing to speak and trying your damnedest to tune out whatever your attacker is saying. Either way, it&#8217;s the end of any useful conversation.</p>
<p>People are receptive, interested in what you&#8217;re saying, and willing to change when you instill excitement in them about an opportunity.  Would you want to take someone&#8217;s advice who said you were too stupid and lazy to?  What if they pointed out that you&#8217;re too smart and driven <strong>not</strong> to? Which scenario would cause you to be more receptive?</p>
<p><strong>What it all boils down to</strong></p>
<p>When you look at what these points boil down to, you could say that these are things we all learned when we were 5.  That&#8217;s very true.  For some reason, though, it&#8217;s very common for this advice to get misplaced, perhaps by the tasks and worries that escalate as we develop into adults.  For some, these concepts disappear completely by the time adulthood arrives.  It&#8217;s never too late to refresh ourselves on this and remember that those who have made the largest contributions to mankind were often also the most humble.  <strong>When we focus on taking care of others, others will take care of us.</strong></p>
<p>So, the next time someone mentions that they drive a big SUV or buy new clothes every month, don&#8217;t put them down. Don&#8217;t tell them how much better your gas mileage is on your bicycle or that you only shop at the thrift store.  That doesn&#8217;t help them at all.  Instead, ask them questions.  Find out what makes them tick. Then, explain why you do what you do and present opportunities based on what you&#8217;ve learned about them. You have to build relationships before you can effect change.</p>
<p><strong><br />
</strong></p>
<p>Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/how-to-pretend-to-be-frugally-green/' rel='bookmark' title='How to Pretend to be Frugally Green'>How to Pretend to be Frugally Green</a></li>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/are-you-more-frugal-or-green-balancing-multiple-goals/' rel='bookmark' title='Are You More Frugal or Green?: Balancing Multiple Goals'>Are You More Frugal or Green?: Balancing Multiple Goals</a></li>
<li><a href='http://frugallygreen.org/get-the-most-out-of-your-green-or-any-other-degree/' rel='bookmark' title='Get the Most out of Your Green (or any other) Degree'>Get the Most out of Your Green (or any other) Degree</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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